"8 Little Rules for a Happier Life: A Psychotherapist's Insights"
"8 Little Rules for a Happier Life: A Psychotherapist's Insights"
8 little rules for a happier life, from a psychotherapist
Become aware of your emotional state
Awareness is the foundation of a happy life. "Many of us aren't used to pinpointing exactly how we feel, so how would we know how to best move through difficult emotions?" says Ferguson.
It's true: we're moving fast, at times without pause. Whether you use a mood-tracking app, a journal, or something else, just taking a moment to name your emotions—whether you're frustrated, lonely, insecure, or something else—helps you process them.
"I often take this a step further and rate my overall mood on a scale of one to 10 (10 being most difficult)," she says. "If I'm at a four on a given day, I might say to myself, 'It's okay that I'm at a four today. But how might I support myself in getting to a five or six this afternoon?'" That support might look like taking a slow walk in the park, calling a friend, having a good cry, or even eating a snack.
Practice gratitude daily
This one might seem almost too simple, but Ferguson says to hear her out. "This isn't the 'count your blessings' type of gratitude where we are encouraged to 'just be positive,' she says.
Each night, she engages in a gratitude practice using an app to log three things she's grateful for that day—and she challenges herself to get really specific. "Instead of just writing, 'family,' I might write, 'I'm so grateful for the one-on-one time shopping with my daughter today and the opportunity to connect,' she says.
She continues: "Not only does research show gratitude practice can improve mood over time, I have found that when I am actively engaging in gratitude practice, I go through my day looking for things to be grateful for." Start by trying it for a week and notice how it changes the way you move through your day.
Nurture relationships—even in small ways
Decades of research confirm that relationships are the strongest predictor of a happy life. "Studies have found that the quality of our relationships has a significant impact on mood and well-being," Ferguson says.
It's not about having a huge circle—it's about depth. "I try to take a moment each day to nurture one or two of my most important relationships, either by sending a text, sharing a joke, or connecting in some way. And yes," she says, "relationships with furry family members count!"
Move your body every day
If you aren't currently in the habit of exercising regularly, even simple, consistent movement can have powerful benefits for both mental and physical health. "I'm not talking about working out or running marathons here, although those activities certainly count," says Ferguson. "Just moving your body can make a huge difference in mood."
She points out that a famous meta-analysis showed that "simple movement like walking daily can be as effective as antidepressant use, and combining exercise with antidepressants is more effective than using antidepressants alone."
For those who've experienced traumatic stress, walking holds particular value. It's not just physical—it helps the brain and body process emotion and tension. Ferguson notes that Francine Shapiro, founder of the evidence-based Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, discovered this powerful approach after a walk in the woods, when she noticed her distress easing as her feet and eyes moved rhythmically across the landscape.
For Ferguson, the best type of movement is dance. "There is no need to be good at it—I turn on a playlist and dance for at least ten minutes every night in my kitchen," she says. Whether it's walking, stretching, or swaying to your favorite song, start with just five minutes of movement a day and build from there.
Soak up some sunlight
Think of sunlight is nature's antidepressant. "Studies show that getting morning sunlight can help boost mood, improve sleep quality, and help regulate the body's circadian rhythm," says Ferguson.
That's because natural light tells your brain it's time to wake up—triggering serotonin production, the feel-good chemical that promotes calm, focus, and contentment throughout the day. "Sunlight increases serotonin production, and I find that daily time in nature—even five minutes—feels nourishing to my spirit," she says.
Ferguson aims for 10 to 20 minutes of morning sunlight whenever the weather allows. On gloomy days, she keeps a light therapy box on her desk to mimic the effects of natural light.
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